......expecting a baby!
Whether it's a nine month pregnancy or a 4 month paper pregnancy time sure does fly by. By the time we reach Susan's country we will have been involved with this adoption process for less than 4 months. We committed to Susan on May 7th. I feel very blessed that it has happened at this speed and our hope to have her home before her first birthday will be fulfilled. Susan will never have to spend a birthday alone! I am so anxious to get more details about her and see her. I often wonder if we will recognize her. Babies change so much in that first year so I am sure she will look different than her profile picture. I wonder if she'll have hair? Will she be tiny or average for her age? Will she smile or shy away? Will she be a cuddly baby or push us away? As anyone would hope, I hope she is a happy little girl who will know from the moment we meet her that we are the ones who have come to rescue her! I hope she will instantly feel our love and fall in love! I can hardly stand it! I am still in shock that this is happening and so quickly! But I can't wait! She will be a very special delivery!
I am sad that I have to miss a few things like the first day of kindergarten and preschool for Beck and Kate. I am sad to miss both Cole's and Beck's soccer games as the fall season will start while we are away. I am sad to miss Beck's 6th birthday. I am sad to leave Liam just as he is beginning to chatter away! I am going to miss my kids so much and am sad to leave them. But I know that this moment in our lives will be but a second compared to our future! We will survive and look back and appreciate all of the sacrifices we are making now. These sacrifices will seem insignificant in the big scheme of things. It doesn't make it any easier to leave them but it does give comfort to know that families are forever and forever is a long time! Bring on the tears and heartache but bring on the joy of knowing that we are making a difference and that our forever family will be complete. Susan is going to change our lives, there is no doubt about it but it will be for the better!
What a blessing my mom is in my life. "All that I am I owe to my angel mother." My mother allows me to live the life that I want and the life that I live. She is always there when I need her. Whether it be for emergencies, vacations, hospital stays, etc. she is always willing to stay at our home and watch the kids. I am truly blessed to have a mother who supports me in all that I do. I hope to become like her one day. I can always count on my mom, and my dad too, but my mom is the one who stays home and does her best to keep the household running. My kids adore her. In fact anytime we have been away (2 weeks was the longest) our kids want nothing to do with us when we get home. I'm always a bit crushed but wouldn't have it any other way. They love her enough to not want her to leave. Thanks mom and dad! I know they will be in good hands and I know they will have a blast! I also have to thank everyone in advance who is going to help with car pools, soccer practices and games, scouts, and much needed play dates! You are all amazing! Through small and simple things great things will come to pass.
I'll leave you with a couple more cute things my children have said during this process. A few weeks ago Kate and I were in the car, probably headed to Target. (She loves to go shopping with me and I love Target.) Anyway it was almost as if she had a epiphany. All of the sudden her voice got loud and was filled with excitement as she said, "Mom! I know what I can do! I can give all of my toys to Susan. Because it's not fair that she doesn't have anything." My sweet little cupKate! She is going to be a great big sister! Then Cole is really cute! Since he is the oldest, he often acts like the parent, telling the kids what to do. Like, "Go on the naughty step!" or "Go to your room!" etc. I have to remind him often that he is not the parent and that is my job. But during this process I have enjoyed hearing him say, when the kids are wanting something or asking for something, "Do you want this lip gloss or a baby sister?" Or at the yard, Kate was extremely upset that we were selling a princess table and chairs that she really wanted but we didn't have room for and Cole asked again, "Do you want the table or a baby sister?" That one backfired a bit as her immediate response was the table but in the end once the table sold they both knew that it was getting us one step closer to Susan. They get it and understand that through small and simple sacrifices, we are closer to bringing Susan home. God speed!